BOB & The Blonde

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.

The 10 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob said, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money"

Bob replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 pm news, so I knew he would jump."

The blonde replied, "I did too, but didn't think he'd do it again."

Bob took the money...

_________________
Nick Hahn
Lornic Design

Specializing in pork harvesting equipment.

"The Standard Deviation of the Sampling Distribution of the Sample Mean ! " ( My wife's favorite statistics phrase! )

Two blondes were out for a walk on a Saturday afternoon. The first blonde was on one side of the river, and the second blonde was on the other side.

The first blonde called out to the second, "How do I get to the other side of the river?".

Looking puzzled for a few seconds, the second blonde replied "You are on the other side!".

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Steve Bahr...since 1962.

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blond replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

That's kind of the anti-blonde joke Charles...

True story: My wife's cousin lives outside of Rome and has to go into the city during the week for business quite often. He parks his car in an illegal spot. After the week he goes to the impound lot and retrieves it and pays the fine. The fine is less than 1/4 the cost of parking for a week and his car is safe inside a locked impound lot.

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Sean Dotson, PE
RND Automation & Engineering
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It let you tell your true story.... Besides, the subject line is "Blonde Joke", not "Dumb Blonde Joke"
Note: the blonde kid in my avitar is me.

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful.
She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk.
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?'

The blonde said, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'

The milkman asked, 'Do you want it pasteurized?'

The blonde said, 'No, just up to my * shoulders * . I can splash it on my eyes.

( * shoulders * - originally it was a more descriptive body part, but I didn't think the term would be appropriate. )

_________________
Nick Hahn
Lornic Design

Specializing in pork harvesting equipment.

"The Standard Deviation of the Sampling Distribution of the Sample Mean ! " ( My wife's favorite statistics phrase! )

ERNIE (The Fastest Milkman In The West) Song Lyrics



The full lyrics are here.
http://www.squidoo.com/ernie_lyrics